Keywords:
Intimate Partner Violence, violent relationships, perpetrator, victim, physical abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, adverse childhood experiences, financial abuse, social abuse, personality disorder.
Introduction.
Violence In Love Relationships. What is Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)? General causes of IPV. What are the perpetrator’s risk factors? Are there risk factors for victimization? What are the consequences of IPV? Are there protective factors against IPV? Why do most women remain in toxic relationships? What help is available?
Recently if one is on social media, what is becoming very rampant is violence among lovers. This is now rampant in Nigeria, that you will believe that there is an epidemic of it.
Prevalence rates in Nigeria:
In Nigeria, the prevalence of IPV is on the increase. It is estimated that one in four women in Nigeria experience IPV.
One research conducted in 2018, 36% of ever married women had experienced IPV. This is an increase of 11% from the previous study done in 2013.
In one study on IPV among women in Lagos southwest Nigeria gave a prevalence of 73.3%. This was a study done in 2019. A study conducted in Abia state among female undergraduates, gave a prevalence of 51.2%. Prevalence among men and women in Edo, south south Nigeria, in 2021 was 37.7%. There is a report of the prevalence of 58.8% in Jos, Northern Nigeria, as reported in 2024.
More reports from Nigeria range from 42% in the North, to 29% in the southwest. Then 78.8% in the southeast and 41% in south south. So we can see that the prevalence is highest in the southeast. All these reports are between the years 2018 and 2020.
There are incidences of violence perpetrated by men and there are those perpetrated by females. Unfortunately, the perpetrators are using more lethal means by the day.
The male gender are seen more among the perpetrators, than the female gender. And IPV is the most common type of violence among women, globally.
What is Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)?
Before we really go into what IPV is, let us know what an intimate relationship is all about.
An intimate relationship is a relationship that involves romance and intercourse. So people that are into intimate relationship are couples in romantic relationships. These couples could be in form of married people, people dating and in hookups.
Violence is aggression with a purpose to control, intimidate, and suppress another person.
It is important to understand that IPV is different from domestic violent. Actually, domestic violence includes IPV, child abuse and elderly abuse.
So IPV is violence that occur between people in an intimate relationships. It can occur once or multiple times. And it can occur in different forms, which are physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and social. There can also be any combination of these.
When IPV occurs among teenagers it is called adolescent or teen dating violence. This occurs in individuals aged 10-24 years.
Physical abuse in IPV:
In physical IPV, the perpetrator uses physical force to inflict pain, injury or physical suffering on the victim. And examples are beating, slapping, kicking, pushing and shoving the victim. It also includes stabbing, pulling or dragging, choking, burning and even shooting the victim. Even threatening the victim with a weapon such as a knife, gun, etc., is also known as physical IPV.
Emotional abuse in IPV:
The emotional abuse aspect of IPV, include verbal insults, belittling, intimidation and gas lighting. It also includes the use of intimate knowledge to degrade the partner. This means that the perpetrator will use knowledge of your past failings or past traumas, to taunt you. The entire aim of emotional abuse, is to use harsh words to manipulate and control the partner.
Emotional violence, is the most common form of IPV. In most cases, if not in all cases, emotional abuse precedes physical abuse.
Sexual abuse in IPV:
Intimate Partner Violence, of the sexual type, is very common. It is also called Intimate Partner Sexual Violence (IPSV), Intimate Partner Rape, Intimate Sexual Violence, sexual coercion, date rape, etc.
Perpetrators usually use tricks, verbal pressure, and threats of negative consequences if the victim reports.
Financial abuse in IPV:
Economic abuse or financial abuse in IPV, is a special form of violence. It involves the perpetrator, controlling the victim’s ability to acquire income and maintain resources. The aim is to make the victim economically dependent on the partner. And this economic dependence, may limit the victims ability to leave the relationship, or become independent.
So the victim may not be allowed to work to earn money. And if she does work, the partner may insist on a joint account whereby she has no money withdrawal access.
In economic exploitation the perpetrator intentionally destroys or depletes the victim’s financial resources or credit. It also includes behaviors like the perpetrator stealing from the victim partner, or gambling with joint account money. Such a partner can also recklessly use the joint account money. It also includes refusing to pay bills so that the victim’s credit can be ruined.
The victim can also be denied access to food, clothing, or medications. And the perpetrator can deny the victim access to employment, education, etc.
Social abuse in IPV:
Isolating the partner is also a form of emotional abuse. So social abuse is behaviour that cuts you off from your family, friends, or community. And the person will try to harm your relationships with others. So they make you look bad or damage your reputation. And such things can be done at home, over the phone, in public or over social media.
By isolating the partner from friends and family, the aim is to limit the partner’s support network.
Social abuse can come in different forms such tracking your phone calls and emails. The perpetrator may decide to choose your friends for you, or the family member that you can associate with. They can also decide to constantly be criticizing your friends or family members.
Keeping you house bound and not allowing you to participate in social activities, is also a form of social abuse. Monitoring your every move and demanding knowledge of people you plan to meet with, are tactics of a social abuser. Even limiting access to your mobility, by denying you transportation or access to wheel chair is social abuse.
Possessiveness, the need to control and fear that the partner will leave, are some of the causes of social abuse.
General causes of IPV.
These general causes of IPV will be divided into subgroups. And these subgroups are biological causes, psychological issues and socioeconomic issues.
Biological causes:
Genetics
The male gender is more associated with aggression. This could be because of the hormone testosterone.
Certain genetic factors such as persons with Down syndrome are prone to aggression. This is because they experience intellectual deficiency which can affect their problem solving capacity. So they can become aggressive when faced with challenges.
Certain genetic issues can affect neurotransmitters, which can predispose to aggression. For example, there could be a genetic issue affecting some neurotransmitters and the enzymes that degrade them. The enzyme Monoamine Oxidase (MAO), can have a genetic abnormality that will reduce its function. When MAO function is reduced, serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain becomes excessive. And excessive serotonin can cause aggressive behaviuors. Even in reduced level, serotonin can also cause aggression.
High levels of dopamine is also a leading factor to aggression. This can be seen in people suffering from schizophrenia, who have high levels of dopamine.
Head trauma
Research has shown that some perpetrators of IPV, had head injuries that can be causal factor to their actions. The head injuries more likely to be related to IPV are those affecting the frontal lobe of the brain.
These head injuries preceded their abuse perpetration by months or years. The head injuries could have occurred when the abusers were in their teens.
Such people with head injuries have problems with executive functions of the brain. This means that they have problems with thinking, paying attention, judgement, planning, impulsivity, etc. They also have problems with memory, and verbal ability. This verbal ability problems makes the also have problems with resolving issues.
Medical conditions
Some medical conditions such as epilepsy, asthma and other breathing problems can predispose one to aggression. Even pain from any source, can predispose one to aggression.
Hormones
Certain hormones play a role in aggressive behaviours. Testosterone, a male hormone, can predispose to aggression, if the environment is right.
Researchers have shown in multiple research works that low levels of cholesterol can predispose to physical aggressive behaviours.
Substance abuse
The abuse of substances, both in the intoxication stage and withdrawal stage, can predispose someone to aggressive behavious. These substances include alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, methamphetamine (ice), etc.
Psychological issues:
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
The Adverse Childhood Experiences, are stressful events that occur in the child’s life. Some of the ACEs include physical abuse and neglect, emotional abuse and neglect and sexual abuse. Parental loss in any form, like the death of parent(s), divorce, separation, and incarceration, is an aspect of ACEs. Other forms of ACEs occurs when a child is raised by a parent who is alcoholic, or has mental illness. Even when a child is raised in a community where there exists community violence, this is part of ACEs.
The relationship that occurs between a parent and a child, in childhood affects later behavior in adolescence and young adulthood. So a supportive childhood upbringing can have positive effects on an individual’s social relationships in adulthood. But when a child is raised in an abusive family, the child’s self-esteem can be negatively affected. And this can lead to aggression in adulthood.
When a children is raised by a couple who practice IPV, or where ACEs are practiced, may externalize their problems. So they display aggression and violence, conduct disorder, poor anger management and antisocial behaviours.
Thus, children from violent homes see aggression as an effective method to resolve conflicts. This is because they have learned by observation, modeling, and direct behavioral conditioning.
So children exposed to violence in early life are more likely to re-experience or replicate violence in adulthood relationships.
Mental illness
When one couple has mental illness like schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc. these are risk factors that can bring up IPV. This is because, such people have poor judgement, poor planning, problems with concentration, not being in touch with reality, etc. Thus, it is easy for them to lash out due to anger.
Also children who develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from ACEs, are at risk of IPV, in adulthood. This is because they were unable to get equipped with resources that will enable them handle emotions and relationship issues.
So people with PTSD, will withdraw from social interactions and have problems with controlling emotions. Thus they can easily lash out at people.
Personality Disorders (PD)
Research has proved that there is a link between having antisocial PD or having borderline PD and IPV. For those with antisocial personality disorder, they have always had conduct disorder in childhood. The children with conduct disorder show aggression or hostility and deviance for rules and regulations.
Persons with borderline PD, are usually impulsive and problems with relating with other people. They do not trust others and believe that they are soon to be abandoned. And this can lead them into IPV.
Other personality disorders are also associated with IPV. They include schizoid PD, narcissistic PD, and histrionic PD. Those with narcissistic PD, have extreme self-love, a strong sense of entitlement, and a need for attention, admiration, and approval. They are also arrogant, easily angered and show a sense of entitlement. Thus they can easily get into IPV.
Low self-esteem
Usually a people with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. These can lead them to become aggressive so as to assert power, and mask their feelings of insecurities. They use aggression to themselves feel better and gain a sense of control over situations.
Social factors:
Peer influences
Several researches have documented that interactions between individuals and their peers, have influence on behaviors. It has been documented that dating violence is learned by observation, modeling, and imitating peer behavior. This is because violence committed among peers are internalized.
In dating violence, an individual is at a high risk of perpetrating it, if he knows that his peers perpetrate it. Having internalized violent behaviours from their peers, when it comes to their turn, they act it out.
Boys feel pressured by their peers to show their masculinity at a young age. And this show of masculinity, could be via aggression or violence. This same pressure to show masculinity can also be seen among men. So peer network can influence people to adopt certain behaviours, like IPV.
Suspicions about infidelity increase risk of IPV. This is because, men see such polyamory as part of their masculine identities. But there are women who practice infidelity, and this can bring up IPV.
Cultural norms
Violence against women is usually sanctioned in many cultures, and IPV is not an exception. In these culture, they believe in using physical force to settle issues.
Acts of violence against the wife is most often seen as acts of discipline, so as to maintain the rule of male-authority within the family. The males want to show that they are the head of the house.
When literate women speak against any infringement of their rights in the family, this fuels up violence from their husbands. This is because in these cultures, women are supposed to be seen and not heard.
And it is important to know that IPV is more common with couples that are cohabiting. It is quite common in cultures where there are gender inequality. These are in cultures where the male gender is perceived to be the superior gender.
Educational issues
Intimate Partner Violence is prevalent among couples with low education, especially those with education lower than secondary school level. Actually, women with low or no education are at risk of being exposed to violence and oppression by their spouse. And the less the education the woman has, the higher the risk of IPV.
In countries where there are gender tussles, women who have higher education than their men, also face risk of violence. This is because the man would want to exhibit his authority as the head, thus he uses violence.
When a woman has more education, she makes more money, thus she becomes more assertive and reject subordination in marriage. Now, this assertiveness and rejection of an inferior status can lead her spouse to feel that his power is threatened. This threatening feeling by the man will increase the likelihood of IPV.
So, when gender norms are transgressed by women, IPV becomes an acceptable response.
Religious factors
In Nigeria, there are three main religions, the Christian religion, the Muslim religion and the Traditional religion. Generally, these religions stem from culture of the people who instituted them.
The Christian religion.
This stemmed from the Jewish culture which actually promotes gender norms and roles. These can be seen in the old testament of the Christian Bible. But with the coming of Jesus Christ in the New Testament, some modifications were made as it concerns women. The New Testament did much to portray women like the Blessed Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus. Jesus accepted women, made mention of them and gave them some form of protection.
Then there is the marriage vow that is also taken out of context by some Christian denominations. The vow of ‘till death do us part’ is taken to mean that there should be no separation or divorce. And some violence perpetrators see it as an only means to get rid of an unruly spouse.
There is also in the Bible, Mathew 5:32 that write that adultery is committed when married people leave each other. This makes incompatible people stick together in marriages that are not working, to the point of even being killed.
The Muslim religion.
This has undergone certain modernization over the years. There are some verses in the Holy Qur’an that talks about the preference of man over the woman. For example 4:34, the traditional interpretation stresses that females should be obedient and men should have authority. These traditionalists also see the chapter and verse as a reason to beat their wives as a discipline for disobedience. But many modern authorities have challenged these traditional understandings of this chapter and verse. Although there are many verses that request that husbands should love their wives, some still stick to the old beliefs.
The traditional religion.
In the traditional religion, women are seen as powerless and are seen to service the men sexually. The traditional religion in Nigeria promotes gender inequality.
Secrecy
Keeping secrecy to any form of abuse perpetrates it. When the perpetrator or the victim keeps the abuse secret, it makes it more likely for more abuse to happen.
Economic factors.
It has been well researched and documented that poverty, unemployment and underemployment are risk factors to IPV. Financial stress is a risk factor to violence among spouses.
When individuals feel trapped in a relationship due to economic dependence, this can lead to IPV. And when women have low economic power, they become vulnerable to Intimate Partner Violence.
As at 2020, the rate of poverty according to Nigerian National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) is 40%. This translates to 83 million Nigerians living in poverty. By 2022, this same NBS, reported that 63% of Nigerians, ie. 133 million Nigerians, live in multidimensional poverty.
So poverty and tension due to the man’s inability to provide for his family can lead to abuse. But when the woman takes up the financial provision for the family, for some families, it is a risk for IPV. Also when the wife contributes more than the husband, it increases the risk for violence. These are due to the fact that the men believe that their authorities are being challenged. And when the wife is economically poor, it can be a risk for being a victim of IPV.
What are the perpetrator’s risk factors?
Here we will look at some of the risk factors that will make someone become a perpetrator of IPV. What this means are the factors that will make it more likely for someone to become an IPV perpetrator. Note that both men and women can be perpetrators of IPV, but men outnumber the women perpetrators.
Biological:
The first here are the biological issues. These include genetics, medical conditions, hormones, head trauma, substance abuse. Most people who perpetrate IPV, have one or more of these biological issues.
Psychological:
Then when we look at ACEs, being exposed early to physical and psychological abuse, are risk factors. Even witnessing IPV between parents is a perpetrator risk factor. Those who have low self-esteem can become IPV perpetrator. Those who are impulsive are at risk of being perpetrators.
Suffering from any mental illness or having a personality disorder, are risk factors. The most common personality disorders in this group of people are dissocial PD, narcissistic PD, and borderline PD.
Actually, not having emotional connectedness to women, is a risk factor for men perpetrating IPV. And the desire for control over the woman, or feeling insecure are risk factors as well.
It is important to note that spouses that frequently threatens to harm with a weapon, do carry out their threats. So never underestimate a perpetrator who carries weapons, especially if they are impulsive.
Social:
The social issues that promotes masculinity and gender issues are risk factors. So when a man believes that women should only be seen and not heard. Or when he believes that a wife must be submissive to the husband, no matter what. Being socially isolated is another social risk factor to being an IPV perpetrator. And living in an impoverished community with high unemployment rate, high violence and crime rates are risk factors.
Educational/Cognitive:
Low education and poverty are also risk factors for one to perpetrate IPV. This is more likely if the male, has a lower educational attainment or less financial power from the spouse.
Economic:
Poverty is a risk factor for perpetrating violence. Being in the low socioeconomic group can bring about frustration, anger and lashing out on the partner.
Are there risk factors for victimization?
Actually, women who witnesses their fathers beat their mothers, while growing up, are at risk of being victims of IPV. This is because having watched their moms being abused, they believe that it is a normal thing in marriage. Also wives who are afraid of their husbands are more prone to become victims of IPV.
In summary, any women who has experienced any type of childhood trauma, abuse or neglect, can be a victim.
Low education and young age of couples, makes it possible for IPV victimization. People who have learning disability are at risk to being victims of IPV.
If the woman is unemployed or had an early age marriage, she will be at a great risk of victimization. Then living in a poor house hold, makes victimization possible.
Victimization is also possible in certain cultural practices, where there is male dominance. And in the cultures where the woman is made to accept violence as a private matter.
Low self-esteem is a risk factor for being a victim in IPV. This is because it makes the victim accept the maltreatment, seeing herself as not worthy of anything better. Spouses who are over dependent on their partner are also at risk of being abused.
Also having depressive disorder puts the person at risk of being a victim in IPV. This is because such a person is not able to make good judgment and recognize the abuse.
Social issues such as isolation or lack of social support increase the likelihood of being a victim to spouse abuse. Most abuse perpetrators in IPV usually cut off the members of their wives’ families and friends. With this, the perpetrators believe that their victims have no one to speak on their behalf.
What are the consequences of IPV?
Intimate Partner Violence produces physical health issues such as sexually transmitted diseases and reproductive health issues on the victims. These reproductive health issues include pregnancy associated death, premature delivery, low birth weight babies.
It can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart diseases, chronic pain, abdominal disorders, etc. The victim can be maimed, or killed.
The victims can also suffer mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and schizophrenia. They could also have problems with concentrating and even suffer from somatization disorder. And there could be suicidal thoughts, attempts or completed suicide.
There could be divorce and separation. This does not only affect the couple, but also affects the children. These children can be having frequent hospital visits, engaging in crime and have their academics trunked. In adulthood, they too may become perpetrators of IPV, or victims of it. The children can also develop substance use disorder.
There could also be job loss, due to frequent stress and inability to function well.
Intimate Partner Violence is a risk factor to the abuse of substances. The victim may indulge in it so as to cope with the stressors at home.
Are there protective factors against IPV?
Social support:
Having support from within and outside the family is a protective factor against IPV and its complications. It can prevent perpetrating and victimization.
Good communication skills:
Having good communication skills, can also prevent IPV. This is because when the couple know how to communicate their needs and dislikes appropriately, it can solve some of their relationship issues. Also good problem solving skills can be a protective factor to IPV.
Educational attainment:
Having at least at the secondary school level, is a protective factor. But it will not act as a protective factor when the woman is more educated than the husband.
Women empowerment:
Empowering women to be independent is also a protective factor. This empowerment can come as getting higher education, being an entrepreneur, or being gainfully employed.
Respect and equity:
Having respect and equity on gender issues, can protect against IPV. Men can be educated on positive masculinity, which can help them embrace these values. A relationship based on gender equality is a protective factor.
Age factor:
Being older is a protective factor. Older women are less likely to be abused. This is because they are more stable in life endevours. And in traditional society, older women command more respect.
Family size:
Due to the fact that smaller families have less economic stress, having a smaller family is protective.
Why do most women remain in toxic relationships?
It is important to know that not all abused women remain passively in toxic relationships. They usually take up strategies that will maximize their safety and that of their children.
There are certain well known reasons some women refuse to leave an abusive relationship. One reason is the fear of retaliation. Some women believe that the abusive partner can come after them to hurt them and their children. And such retaliation cases are abound.
When a woman is not economically empowered, she believes that she has the inability to care for herself and children. This fear keeps her bound to a toxic relationship.
A majority of African women lack support from their family to leave such a relationship. They see it as bringing dishonor to their family. Many of the parents send their daughters back to the abusive homes from which they ran.
Most of these women are concerned about the way the society will see them and address their children. In Africa, women who leave their husbands to live alone are discriminated against and called all sorts of bad names. Their children are also not left out in the stigmatization. Such children may not end up marrying, and when they do, they fall into the wrong hands.
Many a times, women in toxic relationships always believe that their partners will change. So they go into prayers and making sacrifices, which many a times it is to no avail.
A majority of these women believe that because their religion teaches against divorce, they remain. This is because they don’t want to offend God.
Some women will remain in a toxic relationship, if they believe that they have the resilience to withstand the abuse. There are women who are not undergoing physical abuse on frequent occasions, but are going through other forms of abuse. These women may decide to bare the abuses because they are actually self-sufficient, in many aspects. And their mental health is stable. Such women are said to have resilience.
But when the abuse becomes very severe, they many do eventually leave. Some leave multiple times, while others take their final exit.
What help is available?
Help is actually available to both the perpetrators and victims of IPV. And it is important to not that in every relationship, communication is key.
For the victims.
Social support:
Support from family and friends –
The victims of IPV, need social support. And this can come from the family members, friends and even church members.
To support the victim, you need to be a good listener, show concern and don’t be judgmental. You need to believe what the person tells you and let her know that you will always be there for her.
You need to encourage the person to seek help from professionals.
Other self-help:
Safety first
During an argument, make sure that you are in a safe place or room that doesn’t have access to weapons.
Access to phone
Keep your phone close to you at all times so that you can easily access help.
Train children to access help
Let your children know how to access help when necessary.
Have easy exit
Ensure that you have an easy exit from the house and your car is at all times ready for use.
Plan final exit
If you decide to leave the relationship, let all the plans be secretly done. Don’t allow your partner know when or how you are leaving. And don’t let him know where you are going to. If you have children, take them along with you.
Need for self-empowerment
Self-empowerment is a must. Make sure that once you leave your abuser, you are able to fend for yourself and the children. This may require acquiring additional education, enhancing your skills, or changing your job. Being able to function independently, economically, is the key.
Profession help:
Medical intervention
Being in an abusive relationship can affect both your physical and your mental health. So there is need to see the doctors specialized in these areas. For your mental health, you need to consult a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist. They will use medications and talk therapy to accord you treatment and healing.
Legal intervention
In most cases, there is need to inform the law enforcement agencies, so as to protect you from further harm.
There may also be need to get a lawyer to handle the case.
For the perpetrator.
Social support:
Sometimes, the perpetrator of IPV, may actually ask for help so as to stop his toxic behavior. When they come to you for help, they may blame the victim for their behavoiur, or make themselves the victim.
In such situations, your job is to be an active listener. And your major job is to reduce harm to the entire family. You should not take sides to escalate the harm already being caused by the perpetrator.
Then find out if the perpetrator is addicted to substances or has other mental health conditions such as depression. And then make attempts to speak with the partner, separately.
Make it clear to the perpetrator that abusive behaviours are not acceptable. But do so in an empathic manner. Then encourage the perpetrator to seek professional help.
Professional treatment:
It is import that the perpetrator seeks professional help from a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist. Whereby medications and talk therapy will be used for treatment.
There is need to know that most times, the perpetrator will refuse any sort of help. This is because many of IPV perpetrators have personality disorders. And treatment is very difficult with such people, so change from their toxic behavior may not possible.
For such couples separation or divorce is advised.
Treatment for the children.
It is important to treat the children who are living in such a dysfunctional. They too will need the professional help from a clinical psychologist.
